Today sees a ban come into effect across England which prohibits smoking in enclosed public areas – restaurants, pubs, clubs, offices, train stations and the like.

Now the NarcoAgent is a libertarian and firmly believes that responsible adults should be allowed to do what they please, so long as those activities do not in any way adversely affect their fellow members of society. Smoking in small, airless live venues does not count as one of those activities. For too long I’ve had to endure being forced to inhale other people’s regurgitated carcinogenic particulates in poorly-ventilated rooms, coming home stinking like an ashtray and doing god knows what to my own health. The smokers’ argument of “if you don’t like it you don’t have to be there” is infantile – what, I should forgo being able to enjoy experiencing my favourite bands live because you’re intent on applying a second coat of tar to your already pollution-blackened lungs?

Smorkin’ Labbits enjoy Dirty Three

Of course, enforcement will be the key issue as there will no doubt be plenty of cocks who will believe that they have a right to continue being inconsiderate cocks – but hopefully those affected won’t stand for that shit anymore and will effectively ‘self-police’ (what am I thinking? – this is a country where a bus- or carriage-full of able-bodied citizens will turn a collective blind eye to a serious assault going on a couple of seats away, where standing up for one’s self or on behalf of others against unreconstructed bullies (or worse) earns one the belittling tag of “have-a-go-hero”…).

With two gigs in the next two days I’ll very soon be able to experience first-hand this brave new world of smoke-free venues, where now hopefully all I’ll have to worry about is gakking on the hairspray fumes of those walking hairstyles that are the Shoreditch twats (the campaign for a nationwide ban on the Hoxton Fin starts here!).
Suffice to say, I am celebrating today.

Smorkin’ Labbits



(Having applied various proprietary algorithms to the above, I’ve computed this to be the NarcoAgent’s most belligerent post yet. It is however only 10% Evil.)


Smorkin’ Labbits are born of the twisted mind of legendary rock concert poster designer Frank Kozik.



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